My 4&1/2 campus life ("Take care of my Lamb")
 
 Song Won Suck(Student staff, Speech in the 2011 International Conference)
 
 Ch1. Do you want to get well
 As I was experiencing college entrance examination, I made a sincere prayer. To be specific it was about serving as a church youth member and being children's teacher. At the beginning of the freshman year I kept my promise in priority. However, after I became a college student, I had more free time and started to think of my identity and faith. At that moment I met staff 장정완, and with his recommendation I went to the vision trip 'Hi! Harvard' arranged by SNU CMI. I got served and started questioning about where and what the source of the that love is. But after the trip, the relation between the people who went together went bad and became psychologically far. This is why I felt a burden whenever staff 장 invited me and felt like being subjected to restraint.
 I spent the sophomore year with no big difference. During such time I got invited by staff 장 again and was half forced to participate in a meeting. One thing changed was that at freshman year there was only shepherdess Rebekah in SNU CMI, and now Shepherd Jonathan was there too. I couldn't come to my consciousness with the somehow changed atmosphere and there I was starting to study God's words 7step with staff 장정완. I concentrated on the word of Jesus "Do you want to get well" to a man who has been ill for 38 years. However, staff 장 made me wright a testimony 3 times. Half frustrated, half joking I wrote one with the title "Do you want to wright again?". Since the title was sincere, I wanted to wright a sincere content. At that moment, I realized that the word "Do you want to get well" told to the 38 years disabled man was hope itself. I found myself hopeless in the campus, and I accepted the fact that this word of hope is for me too. This was the first word I took to my heart after I came to university.
 
 After that, I learned to put the worship and service ahead in local churches, and the word ahead in the campus through CMI. Everytime I hit a difficulty I tried to keep hope in Jesus. I continually learned the bible through 7steps with staff 장, and after 7steps I got to study bible with Pastor 변형용 one to one. At the first winter of my 3rd year, I went to DMT(tour around the country) where I met pastor 박광준 of 경주 선교교회 and got the gift of tongue. Also, when we slept in 여수 애양원, I began to the hope of becoming a shepherd after reading pastor 손양원‘s "목양일념"(Sheep-raising determination).
 
 Ch2. Feed my Lambs
 I attended the spring conference so as to have a rest since my 3rd year was busy and important with my major and CMI activities. Which is why I didn't care much about the conference's topic about the cross. After I listened to the main preach, I wrote a testimony of my own uncaring about the topic itself. The pastor saw our slackness in front of the cross and raged with anger saying "are SNU students only this much?" and left during the conference. The rest of us didn't know what to do so we had a repent prayer time. I realized that I didn't have the will to listen to the word. I especially repented of my indifference towards the cross of Jesus. I repented deeply for being only a onlooker of the pain of the cross and the love Jesus Christ. And after the conference, I tried to live a life full of thanks and happiness towards Jesus with repenting feelings.
 
  That year summer, I decided to become a campus shepherd at the end of 평창 international conference and got a shepherd medal too. After the conference, I served as a campus shepherd along with 신요나단 and 박레베카 shepherds in SNU CMI. We prayed and talked together under a waterfall in 양평 and held our faith and had an anticipation together about caring the lambs who Jesus sends us as student shepherds.
 
 After determining to become a shepherd I started the common life alone in pastor 변형용's house in 서울 방배동 from september. Since I couldn't meet my parents much who lived in 가평, I had some hard times. Above that I had the burden of living together with the pastor, so I couldn't decide easily. After ups and downs I started the cohabitation where shepherd 이요셉, and 김형철 joined me soon. By having good breakfast meals by 사모님, and having helpful conversation with love with the pastor a lot of the burden went away. From the fall semester, with staff 장 we started a natural science departement meeting and started praying. With continuous one to one study of the word, I learned about John 21, verses 15 and had the shepherd feeling towards one person. Jesus appeared to Peter and other disciples many times after resurrection. After coming back from a failed fishing, he fed them breakfast and asked them to "Feed my lambs". I took to my heart the calling of Jesus as a students' shepherd to feed the lambs in the campus.
 
  At the end of my 3rd year, a Koa house for brothers was prepared near 낙성대 and 김형철, me, and 신요나단 started a common life. By doing the laundry and household works and cleaning together made me realize that living together was not an easy thing at all. However, we had Jesus's mind and understood and served eachother and had a happy student common life. In January 2010, the students living together and staff 장 went to the eastern coast in 양양 and dived in for "wild nature training". It was an especially cold winter, where even the sand was frozen, and we went into the winter sea screaming and hoping to start an energetic year of 2010.
 
 When the spring semester began, shepherd Jonathan who was the manager went to the army and I became the leader of 2010. During that time I decided to carry out the ministry with a shepherd's mind and wild nature. I obeyed the word "Feed my lambs" and I knew freshmen from the orientation one by one, and until April I had personal relations with 12 freshmen. 7 of them opened up their heart and settled, and 3 of them were my department juniors. Above that, I started to teach the bible to a non-christian Chinese junior, 5 years younger than me. But as time passed, My wallet became empty by buying them food, and I had difficulty finding time for my own studies. 4th year mathematics major was harder than I imagined. I endured the stress of being a leader by praying with tears. By teaching the bible and maths and sometimes hanging out with them and studying and having one to one studies was all hard. However, that was the good times.
 
 At the end of the semester, my grades were the lowest after my freshman year, and the lambs were scattered overseas and around the country. I fell into despair by thinking of the semester with nothing achieved. I thought "I have obeyed in the word of Feed my lambs and served, but the lambs didn't remain and what was it that I had left?" At the second semester I had a struggling feeling and was full of resentment. At that time I became a member of the staff for preparing a revival meeting organized by SNU Christian union. During the preparation I realized that my self justice was not destroyed. By bringing a student I thought of it as my doing and fancied myself, and was blaming the others for not helping when I was serving. I thought of an ideal community and tried to fit God in it. I repented this and again I started to listen God's words "원석, Do you love me? really? Then Feed my lambs".
 
 After that, unlike before I carried on the ministry without my own will, and concentrated on recovering specifically from the disappointments and wounds the juniors gave me. Thankfully, shepherd Joseph came from Turkey after graduation and lived in the Koa house together and helped me out. He was really helpful and we started the second semester and served SNU CMI with a new atmosphere.
 
 Ch3. God can do it all
 In 2011, I stood down from the leader position and 이지혜 became the manager. I felt deeply how the leader was a hard work and now wanted to concentrate on one lamb instead of the whole work. In the first semester I started a one to one bible study with 박사무엘 freshman who came from Jordan. During the summer holiday, I am studying Genesis the 5th chapter of 7steps with brother 김신명. I moved back to pastor 변형용's house after 15 months of living in Koa house, and now I am living with shepherd 김형철 and Harvard shepherd 김사무엘. I am very happy to have lived with shepherd 김형철 who is preparing to leave as international student missionary. I thank God for letting me see him preparing to study abroad with the faith of Israelites when they crossed the Red sea and living a devoted life of a shepherd. Also, I am grateful for sharing the room with shepherd 김사무엘, whom I see in 4 years, and socialize with him. I kept on complaining but God made it all happen in good.
 
 I am now 26 years old, and I'm about to graduate. I still got the army and graduate school problem to be solved. At that time, God gave me the word of Mark ch.10 verse 27 through the pastor. I am holding on to the word "With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God". When I see it small and as nothing, still God might be seeing a lot of ready people. On the other side, even when the number is large, when asked to sacrifice there might be more people leaving. Even then we should hang on to God. The grades of this semester was in the hands of God. I got straight 'A's in 5 subjects, such that one B- made me feel a bit disappointed, and God has made me have victory in my grades.
 By God's help my father continues to work as a bank branch manager and my mother's health got better. This year, January, for the opening of the youth member of 즐거운 우리 church, we moved the church hour and serving to praise and worship. However, not only there is this lot of happiness, but also there are a lot of worries. I think that God wants to give me endless faith. My plan for the graduate school and KOICA volunteer was all blocked, and so I'm feeling worried instead of listening to God's words. But I believe that the God who redeemed me and made me always meet good people will help me solve the army and graduate school problems.
 
 Prayer: Dear God! Thank you. I thank you for giving me your words for the last 4&1/2 years and leading me a righteous way.
 
 One word: "Feed my lambs"