Daniel with a decision
 
 Hyung Cheol Kim (Daniel Kim)
 
 1. My school life and church life
 I was born on March 24, 1981 as the eldest child with a younger sister. Although my mother was married into a Korean folk religion, she alone kept her faith and thus my sister and I were able to attend a church since young. When I was young, I had the experience of miraculously recovering after being so sick that I was unable to move. Though I was young, through such experience I was able to vaguely understand that God was alive. As I advanced into middle school, I was gifted with the joy of experiencing the Holy Spirit at a retreat. I would pray for long hours but it was never tedious to me and a strong sense of joy gushing out from within the depths of my soul. I also gained deep interest in my academic studies and always had high grades.
 
 In the year 2000, I wanted to pursue my studies in electronic engineering at Seoul National University but I was admitted into the school with a more secure major of Ocean Engineering. I continued to serve in the church but I had a ceaseless feeling of lack and incompleteness. I was frustrated with my scores in university and didn’t like the fact that I was just average after being at the top for all of my life. I thought of the church work as a limitation and that my faith made me weaker. I decided to study with my own will and power without God’s help. However, I got addicted to computer games that semester and finally got an academic warning due to my procrastination. It was then that I realized that I had nothing but God in my life and went on my knees to repent. Amazingly I was able to find my way out of the addiction. I experienced the God of forgiveness and mercy.
 Afterwards I continued to serve in the church for 6 years with all my heart. I dreamt of the revival of the youth group as I served but the church suffered from inner conflict and slander, let alone the revival, and put the youth group in big trouble. I was deeply discouraged and regretted the years I’ve put into it and decided to move back to my home in Daejeon. But the Lord encouraged and rebuked me with the word that He gave to the disciples going down to Emmaus. “He said to them, ‘How foolish you are, and how slow of heart to believe all that the prophets have spoken!’” (Luke 24:25) I came to understand and gain strong assurance that the kingdom of God is not subordinate to the prosperity of the visible church of this land but that the church is continuously being matured under God’s plan.
 
 2. Abraham’s path within the campus
 As I entered into my senior year of university, though I was the team leader at church and president of a Christian circle at school I felt the need for discipleship. I prayed that God would send me a new mentor of God’s word. As a response to the prayers, in 2004 I met Yang Myeong Shik Assistant Administrator within the engineering faculty’s Christian circle room and started to study the bible. Through the CMI bible studies I learned of the faith that wasn’t solely based on prayers and experience but rather on firm foundations of basic understanding of God within the bible. On top of that seeing the real serving and dedicated life of the assistant administrators and pastors, I realized that the true spiritual power isn’t in Bible of one side and actual life on the other but when the Word of God shows naturally in our lives.
 In the year 2004, I finished my undergraduate studies in 9 semesters and went to Dandong, China, as a part of a medical mission trip that my mother was on. Through this I met the ethnic Koreans in china and saw the north Koreans living just across the Yalu River. Driving through the endless fields of corn, God spoke to my heart three times to never forget the friends in north Korea.
 
 I started my graduate studies in 2005 and continued the 1:1 bible study at CMI. After I finished my graduate studies, I prayed very hard for my military service issue. Although I had the opportunity to solve the issue by going onto the doctoral program but I thought it would be better to serve at a 3rd world country through KOICA. This was because I thought it would be helpful tome in serving north korea. The country was decided to be Bangladesh before I went off , Pastor Byun told me to research Abraham and I did so for a few days before leaving the country. As the first missionary sent to the world, Abraham’s challenge sand discouragements, history of restoration and grace was drawn in light of the relationship with God, which led me to think deeply. I learned how personally and in detail God led the person Abraham. It was also a time for me to look beyond just the gifts that God provide sand broaden my eyes to look at God Himself.
 
 3. The love of the cross towards the abandoned.
 My life in Bangladesh as KOICA was very difficult. It was difficult living at a poor country away from my own was hard enough but building good relationships with the people there was even more difficult. I was ignored and wrongly accused. At first I was just baffled but the hardships followed. Then all the moments that I didn’t know but had made others suffer came back to me. Through such suffering I was able to feel the suffering that the Lord went to more realistically. It was a precious time in which I was able to rethink about the suffering I gave to people and to repent in front of the Lord for the sadness that it would have caused Him.
 
 The most painful moment was when I started to feel that I was abandoned by God. I would pray and read the Bible but God was long silent and did not reply back. Such times went on for a while and I started to think that God had left me and that God looked upon me as if He didn’t know me. Unbelievable loneliness and fear surrounded me and as tired as I was, I came back to Korea in 2009, afraid of what people might do to me.
 Although the experiences in Bangladesh was good for me, I was suppressed by the defeatism that I didn’t not live a successful life and that God left me when I was suffering and lost confidence in myself. What I was thankful for, though, was that God put in my heart that I wanted to go to the United States. I had a desire to get myself more prepared by experiencing a bigger world, rather than going to noth korea unprepared. However, I was stuck on how to get there. I prayed with Pastor Byun and decided to go to the States as a study abroad. However, studying English was more difficult than I thought. I started to complain that if I had stayed onto my doctoral studies, I would have already gained my degree and wouldn’t have even thought of the military issue. However, through studying Romans with Pastor Byun and living together with Shep. Won Seok and Shep Jonathan, my faith and confidence started to recover like plants in spring.
 
 I was especially touched by Jesus at the cross, abandoned. Jesus, on the cross, shouted “Why have you forsaken me?” Jesus knew at that moment that God had forsaken Him as He would towards a sinner and had experienced the loneliness and fear from deep within. I was very touched by the Lord on this cross. “We are punished justly , for we are getting what our deeds deserve. But this man has done nothing wrong. Then he said, ‘Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.’” This word became my heart. “Lord! Am I not only worthy of being abandoned? But you, Lord, have been forsaken just for me, even though you did only what was pleasing to God. I am only starting to realize that pain. I’m sorry Lord…” I was able to find new hope through the Lord even though I may be abandoned by Him. It’s because I am able to pray, “Lord, remember me when you come into your kingdom.”
 
 4. Preparing the path of missionary-select international student by faith
 As I prepared for the studies in the States, I wasn’t able to think deeply on my identity issue as I was captivated by the benefits of studying abroad. However through studying and writing on Romans 1:1, I was able to strongly receive the identity of a priest in charge of God’s word. He allowed me to see and learn the greatness of the Lord, managing the entire world and gave me the hope of serving the north and south Koreans after serving the youth in the States. “to be a minister of Christ Jesus to the Gentiles with the priestly duty of proclaiming the gospel of God, so that the Gentiles might become an offering acceptable to God, sanctified by the Holy Spirit.” (Romans 15:16)
 Just like this my relationship with God slowly recovered and my identity confirmed and I actively started to prepare for my studies in the States from July 2010 by holding on to Hebrews 11:29 “By faith the people passed through the Red sea as on dry land; but when the Egyptians tried to do so, they were drowned” and served as a assistant in the campus. It wasn’t easy studying and preparing for the GRE and TOEFL for three months. The Lord sent me the necessary people at the right time. He sent Shep. Joseph from Turkey to help me translate and write my statement of purpose and the letters sent to schools. Professor Choi, the advisory professor of SNU CMI always gave me advise and recommendations despite his busy schedule. On top of that, he introduced me to Prof. Kim in Texas A&M and the contact with Prof. Kim was crucial in my admittance in to the school. Professor Kim helped me in my admittance but also the preparations needed before leaving the country, scholarships, and situating myself in the States. Although I had never seen the professor face to face, his detailed and kind help was of great help to me when I was very lost in how to do all that. This all was objectively very difficult but God helped me through many people and as he split open the Red Sea, he split open the Pacific Ocean for me and allowed me to go to the States.
 
 5. Like Daniel with a decision.
 I’ve been long studying the Bible at CMI 1:1. The reason why I didn’t return home to Daejeon but stay in Seoul at KOA community living, After I returned to Korea from Bangladesh, was because there was the word of God at this place. I also started to teach the bible to a non-christian friend called Hyun Seop Kim and tried to refocus on the purpose of my life on spreading the gospel of the Lord. “But Daniel resolved not to defile himself with the royal food and wine, and he asked the chief official for permission not to defile himself this way.” (Daniel 1:8) I also resolve and decide like Daniel. I decide to continue to study the word of God and to teach the word to the American students as CMI international student missionary. It is a small decision but through this I try not to forget that this studying abroad is not for my own benefit but for the souls of this land. I will continue to keep my faith by serving together with the Houston missionaries in the States. I will remember Daniel, my forerunner in faith, and I pray that I will not stop serving one sheep in all circumstances through the word and prayer.
 
  One word: “Like Daniel with a decision.”